Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
