I smell stomach acid.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
