Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
