just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
