you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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