Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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