So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
