I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
