You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
