I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize