I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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