I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
