I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
