dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
