Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
