Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
is that a dick in a sweater?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
