he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Alive.
So much puke
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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