How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
