Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
