So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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