He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
