ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
