im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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