He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
