Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
