there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Randomize
