I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
