check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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