i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
