Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
