Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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