You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize