Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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