New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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