i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
