I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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