if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
you will always have a special place in my vag
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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