I must be too annoying 4 u.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
