dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize