she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
