It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
