are you so shy because you have an std?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
