I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize