But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
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