I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
