Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
