I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
