Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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