It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
