he told me I talked like a deaf person
people are starting to question the shark bite story
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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