What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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