i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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