Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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