so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
