we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
