After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
You left your phone here
Wait...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize