That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize