You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
