we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
