I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
