try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
operation have a gay friend backfired
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
