Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
