im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize