You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
