Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
