Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
