Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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