that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
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