There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
